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Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out, by Phillip C. McGraw
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Your life has a root core that, once understood, unlocks a powerful force to create the life the way you want. Key questions and an amazingly clear "map" are now at your fingertips so you can "Live by Design."
In this groundbreaking work, Dr. Phil challenges you to find your "authentic self" -- that person you have always wanted to be, but were too distracted, busy, or scared to become. Instead, you have created a "fictional self" -- taking on the identity of who you believe you are supposed be. The incongruence between these two selves is what leads you to feel that your life is incomplete, unbalanced, and more difficult than it should be.
In Self Matters, Dr. Phil helps you to demystify your self-concept, and learn how to reclaim your authentic self. You can learn to think beyond the excuses and fears that have masked the person you want to be. By facing the cards life has dealt you, you can relearn how to best react to them.
Self Matters is one of the most forward-thinking works on self-concept and self-esteem ever published. We get only one chance in this world. Dr. Phil shows all how to make the most of it.
KEY ELEMENTS TO IDENTIFY AND BRING INTO ACTION ORIENTED FOCUS INCLUDE:
- What are the ten most defining moments of your life?
- What are the seven most critical choices you have made to put you on your current path?
- Who are the five most pivotal people in your world and how have they shaped you?
- Sales Rank: #4604856 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Wheeler Pub Inc
- Published on: 2002-07
- Format: Large Print
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.50" h x 6.25" w x 1.25" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 443 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Publishers Weekly
The well-known "life strategist" and TV personality Dr. Phil begins this upbeat self-help book by recalling one of the most unpleasant phone calls he ever had to make. In 1989, ten years into a flourishing career, McGraw called his father to say that, despite the outward trappings of success, he was miserable. His new plan was to move away and start a new career and a new life. According to McGraw, many people are currently in a similar situation-trapped in unsatisfying lives or jobs that they loathe. Too many people, says McGraw, are "so busy being busy, that they have let the colors fade from their lives." They're worried about superficial matters rather than what's important: "I'll bet 90-plus percent of them spent months, or even years, planning their wedding and almost no time planning their marriage!" To change their lives, McGraw's readers must first complete two questionnaires he designed to assess their "authentic self" and their "congruency" (how someone's current life compares with a vision of an ideal life). With the scores from these tests, readers can then embark upon a specific plan for changing their lives-and for determining which external and internal forces they will, or won't, allow to control their futures. Readers familiar with McGraw's aggressive TV personality may be surprised by this book's thoughtful and serious tone. McGraw's notion of making change is not a simple one-it requires readers to examine every aspect of their daily lives-and it's likely that some readers may not be able to make all the changes he advocates. But his book offers a thorough, realistic resource for those who are committed to turning their lives around to get what they really want and need.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
Sigmund Freud eventually concluded that human life is more to be endured than enjoyed, but that is not the attitude borne on the tide of relentlessly cheerful self-help books. Like others of its ilk, this one urges us to live by design, breaking free of the past events and encounters which shackle us in a perpetual victimhood. 'Dr Phil', who is 'known to millions' thanks to his appearances on the Oprah Winfrey show, counteracts negativity and excuses for failure with folksy anecdotes, stern admonitions and the glowing offer of hope. Habitual consumers of manuals for the reinvention of the self will find nothing original or startling here, though the reader new to the genre may as well commence with this as with anything else, since this volume is entirely typical, though less poetic than some. In the main, the book consists of laborious explanations of the obvious, e.g. someone whose face is burned and scarred 'will tell you that it changes how they feel about their inadequacy. They become far more uncertain about going out into the world. In other words, the same disfigurement they suffer physically has also affected their psyche.' It also includes exercises, usually ones which require the making of lists with such headings as Ten Defining Moments, Seven Critical Choices and Five Pivotal People. The rationale for the specific numbers is not revealed, but it is at these points that the book becomes potentially useful, since reviewing those events, decisions and encounters which have had the most powerful effects upon us is a sensible way of tracing the patterns of our lives. Some readers may question the concept of the 'authentic self' which exists untouched by experience, while others will take it as the definition of the soul. Again, acting on the recognition with inner passion may be viewed as regressive utopian folly, or as an essential stage in continuing self-development, depending on one's persepective. Certainly, according to the book jacket, the techniques he advocates have worked for Dr Phil, who now runs a consultancy specializing in 'high-profile' litigation cases, as well as seminars on life skills. (Kirkus UK) --Kirkus UK
About the Author
Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., is best known to millions as "Dr. Phil" or "Dr. Tell It Like It Is" from The Oprah Winfrey Show and as the author of the bestselling books Life Strategies and Relationship Rescue. He is also the co-founder and president of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., a litigation consulting firm, and has been associated with some of the highest-profile litigation cases in the country. He has trained thousands of people in effective life skills seminars and is one of the most sought after public speakers. He lives in Texas with his wife and two sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Helped my mom...
By RS
I purchased this for my mother who, for over 25 years, had lived with physical, emotional, and mental abuse from my stepfather. He was controlling her every move (I mean, looking at store receipts to see when she left and how long it took her to get home). He dictated when she could call us, her children, when she could see us, where she worked and when - which was in HIS business.
He was and still IS NUTS!!! After my mother left him he literally wrote letters to the FBI saying that while my mother lived with him, she tried to poison him (we have the copies). Moron didn't know that the doctors can do a hair follicle test to see if there's any poison in his body. Instead he told the FBI that a doctor told him that there's no evidence of poison in his body because too much time went by. Luckily the FBI did not believe a word of his ramblings.
It took my sister, my husband, and I over 20 years to get her away from him, and we finally succeeded. She's been away from him now for almost 4 years.
Unfortunately now, my mother feels lost, worthless, and unhappy.
My mother defines who she is by accomplishments such as education. I disagree. I know happy people who have never held a job. I know security guards happy with their lives and doctors who are miserable.
My mother has worked her whole life, from the time she was 14. She lives in the past and regrets not "being smart", not going to school, not being ambitious. She's 57. She had me, her first child at 19 and worked her butt off. I don't know, or see, when she would've had the time to do anything else other than work. Not only that, she was born in Eastern Europe; didn't come to the States until she was 34, where, again, she HAD TO work.
I, and most people would think she has accomplished quite a bit, but what do I know, I'm only her daughter.
Now that she is divorced and not working, she believes she is literally nothing. I certainly don't agree.
Anyway... I know... TMI.
I had never been a fan of Dr. Phil. He seemed arrogant; HOWEVER, I have since changed my opinion. I don't agree with him on everything, but I feel he tells it like it is.
I gave my mother this book on CD and I asked her what she thought. She said that it is as if Dr. Phil wrote this book specifically for her. I drives me crazy because what Dr. Phil says in this book, I have been telling my mother for years. I guess it's the messenger and not necessarily the message.
It is a great, tell it how it is, book. If you're willing to find it within yourself to forgive yourself, change and move on, this is a great, informative book.
Well worth every penny
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Dr Phil is great and so are his books
By Patricia McDonald
Dr Phil is great and so are his books. I feel too truly connect with Dr Phil's books one needs to have had experienced the subject he is writing about. It is difficult to understand something that you only have a minimal understanding of. Dr. Phil writes in a style that satisfies both sides of his readers. Those that have minimal knowledge can better understand thru Dr. Phil's explanations (down to earth language that don't require to be defined using a Webster or a Tabors). Those that do understand already relate to Dr. Phil's writing, because we are living in that world. Dr. Phil has the unique ability to write using EMPATHY (been there, done that). Most that writes, does so using a clinical nature by walking through a patients life with them and guiding them with speculation and not true EMPATHY. Dr.Phil seems to understand and actually feels your pain with you. I have read other books written by Dr. Phil, and every one I read last becomes by favorite. In MY opinion only Dr. Phil's books/tapes are excellent tools for those that are learning to understand and those like myself that have lived with this pain for almost 70 years of this life, I am finally understanding it..........Thank you Dr. Phil, keep the books coming they are making a difference..... Thanks again, Tish McDonald
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I had to buy this-my second copy!
By D Pope
It doesn't matter whether you are a fan of the author or not, this book is absolutely amazing. I have loaned my first copy out to many friends and I had to order another one for myself. It is helpful to look back when trying to refocus on certain things that come to light later on. That is part of what is so amazing about this book. It takes you on a journey to the inside, to the past- to look at things and people, places and events, and lets you safely decide for yourself where you are and how you are and who you are. It has really been a factor to help bring about a change in my life, which equals a change for my children and theirs. If you are not ready to be honest and ready to make that change, don't get it. But if you are, this is the one I would recommend, and I say buy an extra and share it. It will help them too.
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